Why Small Talk Gets Bad Rap

Anyone who "shows up" as a Thinker, Analytical or Problem Solver, this is for you. Chit chat or small talk is the bane of many people's time. These are people who have not yet discovered the hidden gems embedded in the tiny conversation.

Consider these tiny conversation highlights:

1. They provide a tone of voice so that when you respond, you can echo back in kind. E.g. if someone speaks quickly, quicken your own pace when you speak. They are more likely to pay attention to you.

2. Non-verbal (body language) cues indicate mood of the speaker. If people move in closer to hear what you're saying, they're interested. If they quick glance away, they want to escape!

3. Word choice—Are they expressing or impressing? Verbal judo can be fun, but save it for when you know someone better. This can be perceived as "one-ups-manship" rather than your education. It can also be misconstrued as combative and confrontational . . . Just saying!

Tune in for more next time.

What are your observations about small talk?

What are your observations about small talk? Please post here.


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Email: mcubas@positivepotentials.com
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Calling All Veterans Who Want To Start A Business

Sometimes frustration is the first cousin to necessity in regard to invention! I attempted almost a year to contact the Veteran's Administration in Phoenix to offer this program. After ten months, I finally got an appointment. What I found was the idea had a better chance of survival launched by me as a private citizen than attempting to obtain approvals and recommendations from VA departments.

Personally, after observing my granddaughter’s return, who served in Iraq, struggle with her “re-entry” into civilian life, I wanted to offer a way to support her and her comrades. When she returned I saw how disoriented and seemingly lost she appeared. I wanted to help her but didn't know how. What better way than with what I knew how to do as a certified business coach, (www.positivepotentials.com).

So here I am . . .
This program is designed for our returning military and veterans from 2000 to the present. Although veterans can be highly skilled, they may need time to decompress and to adjust to civilian life. This way we can lend a hand.

As a former USO (United Service Organization) entertainer, I served our troops in the Northeast Command. The experience taught me how much bringing a touch of "home" and understanding means so much to our warriors.

Daily, the news spouts all the difficulties with job issues. With current economic circumstances causing everyone to be more conscious of their employment options, as an optimistic coach, I say there's another way! I can offer another success factor to our military.

No red tape, no bureaucracy to deal with, just genuine interest and concern to support people to fulfill their goals and reach toward their dreams. Sponsors and participant coaches are key success factors for this program.

Criteria:
Every veteran can apply to open enrollment and complete the application (questionnaire.) The more coaches registered, the greater number of veterans we can serve.
It is one-page and easy to manage. Candidates will self-select how serious they are by completing Part 2 of the application describing their vision.

Criteria to participate in this program:
The criteria is simple:
1. Submit a letter of interest to participate in the program.
Applicants will self-select which direction to pursue:
A. Start a business or join an existing business like family-owned.
B. Refresh interviewing and job seeking skills like how to answer the interviewer, posture and presence.
C. Have an idea and needs direction to give it form and function.

2. The applicant will demonstrate in their applications a steadfast desire to start or own a business. Not all applications will be selected. However, all applicants will have access to additional resources.

3. The applicant will provide a two-page essay on the vision they have.

4. They will indicate existing resources and support they will bring to the project. 5. Coaches will conduct a primary interview for selection based on the reality of the situation. No one will be sent away empty-handed. We will provide other resources like SCORE and Chamber services they can access. ___________________________________________________

Letters of Interest Applications
Candidates can apply online http://www.positivepotentials.com/Biz4Vets.htm. All veterans will have access to our resources. Please complete the attached application and submit for review by email or regular mail to:
Positive Potentials
12756 W. Maya Way
Peoria, AZ 85383

Coaches interested in participating in the Biz for Vets™ Registry click here to send email. Please put COACH in the Subject Line. Include details about your certification, experience, and training. I will contact you for a phone interview within seven days of receipt.
Sponsors seeking a fulfilling project, please click here and put SPONSORS in the subject line.

Fairness May Be Genetic—Fill In The Blanks

Recent research shows that social primates have us beat on fairness to each other—Witness today's horrendous healthcare chaos.

Reported in the journal, Nature, led by Sarah Brosnan and Frans de Waal from Emory University and the Yerkes National Primate Research Center, “The study was built around tokens that the moneys could exchange for so-so cucumbers or highly preferred grapes. As long as two capuchins both got cucumbers for the token, fine. But when one got a grape and other a cucumber, unrest began.” “Refusing a food item of any type is very rare behavior in acapuchin,” Brosnan says.

This finding is reminiscent of what I observed, raising my children 22 months apart, of toddler’s at play. Consider goodie bags at kids’ birthday parties; they check each other’s bags to be sure everyone got the same things!

Considering our proud stance on independent human behavior, the researchers note this simian behavior may be linked to survival and safety.

We, humans, may need to take another look at our behavior, to remember we’re all in this together.

Your coach,

Michelle Cubas

Secret Pal or Powerful Tool—Your Coach

Today The New York Daily News, in an article on business coaching, got me thinking about my profession. I was pondering what I bring to my clients as the article headliner chalked up the advantages of business coaching.

One financial executive commented how much she liked the idea of talking though things she was dealing with. So, I asked myself, “What is that really, especially in a business setting?”

• Being heard and acknowledged
• Guided to or off the ledge!
• Safety without concern of others’ perceptions
• Invisible to their colleagues, family and friends
• Watching my clients’ backs.
  

Of course, circumstances are mightily different in a corporate setting where much of the structure—mission, vision, values, for example, are already etched—from business owners, sometimes themselves consultants who use a coach differently.

How would you benefit from using a business coach, life coach? One of the best tools you can bring to your life and career is auditioning different coaches. You'll learn something from each one. Most offer a complimentary session to measure a fit. I welcome your input.

Life and career are entwined because how do we take the humanity and life out of the person? Evidence litters the landscape with how people have fared poorly in large companies, suffered burnout, and have lost their way, their relationships, and their sense of purpose. Coaching supports how to integrate and enrich each aspect of a client's life.

Coaching is a personal process through which clients process their humanity and their connections to compose and sustain fulfillment in their lives. It is a transparent process of a client meeting the self, dreams and desires.

Often at networking groups I introduce myself as a tuning fork or a Muse to draw upon a creative energy that may be tired, resistant or just plain lazy. Coaching works to link your intentions to commitment while we advance your career or business and your life.

The ultimate key for me is how I show up for my clients no matter what their condition. With their permission, they count on me for an unfiltered, clear reflection of what they bring to coaching.

I simply listen and guide, celebrate in concert and show up. With coaching, we can move mountains! —mc

What Is Your R.I.S.K. Tolerance?

Anyone running, opening or selling a business take heed. Risk is a business element that is often side stepped.

Initially, a simple check list can reveal areas that need closer scrutiny. Although a simplistic approach, this process makes it tangible and better able to be addressed.

Items to consider:
1. How long can your business operate with little or no income?
2. What resources are in place for business resumption after a disaster?
3. Where do you back up your company data?
4. What is your line of succession if something happens to a company principal?
5. What is your R & D budget and what role does it play in your projections?

These simple questions will get the topic opened and begin a conversation with your advisory board, partner or whomever can offer you information to avoid disaster. Good luck. The attached link is food for thought.

Your coach,
Michelle Cubas

Career Hunting?

Job hunting without a criteria is madness.

Pocket Coach suggests some thoughts to minimize frustration:

Create a table in Word.
List your criteria that are deal breakers
List questions you may have regardless of industry.
What do you need to know about them?

Several quick questions:
• How do you determine "growth oriented companies"? They're the likely ones to hire.
• Do you pre-select companies then go "fishing" on the social media sites? Caution here. Don't publish anything that can come back to haunt you. Use strategic introductions to get noticed.
• What sources do you use for the base for your research? Business Journal, contacts, family?
• You're doing well to contact people directly to introduce yourself.
• Do they invite you to call? What's your sense of engagement—arms length?
• What curiosity factors have you set up about yourself? Any intrigue or just like the "others?" Consider how you self-describe. Use active and vibrant language.

Next time we'll discuss what to look for on websites.
Happy hunting!

We’ve Sold the Soul of Marketing

Although this posting was during the campaign, I re-read it and found I could insert the word "competitor" instead of candidate. Cory Treffiletti was asking to look into the future.

Timely posting during the political campaigns. I'd like to add a third slant to your either/or. As a marketer I'm aware of the sectors, objectives and the "speak" that swirls around my profession. Here's my rudimentary slant: Remove GREED from the picture. How novel is that!

I'm guessing greed motivates all the junk mail in my mail box, real and virtual. How about informing and providing information so people can know they need you.

What that does is remove the barriers and second guessing of getting into people's heads and actually provides a pure channel to serve the consumers rather than outsmart them. Greed makes the actions self-perpetuating. Look at the spin-off business from this approach. It keeps expanding exponentially, like social media. What’s the reality of managing all these elements?
My head is spinning from it all.

I see current marketing practices as oversell and numbing, an avalanche of information and intrusive to boot. Currently, our biology hasn't caught up with our technology™ so we're overwhelmed and don't know what to look at first. How do you break through that?

The marketing I supply is to find out what people need from me (my homework, research), deliver the message (variety of methods) of how they will benefit working with www.positivepotentials.com, and "show up" for them, not me.

As simplistic as it sounds, this approach eliminates the competing "noise" because people are delighted that someone wants to serve them rather than take their money.

My approach is to slow down, take note and deliver.
It works well for me, and I've been in business since 1982. I use this approach to build my coaching practice because of the multitude of coaches around. I guess marketers have to justify their own existence when only driven by revenues rather than value. I say to that, try running a business without marketing; no justification needed.

As a coach, it occurs to me that if the candidates adhered to such a simpler approach, not only would we know more about them, because they would discuss the opportunity of what they bring to the scene, they wouldn't have to denigrate the opponent. If one is spending millions of dollars, why not promote your own views? I never quite understood why they miss the chance to promote their own ideas. The same applies to our current scream fest on healthcare reform. It needs a name makeover to start. Topic for another time.

In Response to: http://www.mediapost.com/blogs/spin/?p=1383
What Does The Future Look Like? Or, What I Read On My Summer Vacation
By Cory Treffiletti

Mega Community Service

As we witness the parade of incompetence that has become our Congress, I cannot remain cynical when I find stories like this.

This one is close to home. I know Joyce personally.

Valley woman helps abuse survivors through art.

I hope this energy inspires you to reach out in your own way.
Community service is not only good for business, it is fulfilling for us to share.

Please let me know about community projects in your area.

Your coach,
Michelle Cubas

Do you "Google?"

Official Google Blog: Do you "Google?"

In my seminars, one objective I ask participants to think about, it what is necessary to make their products and services and memorable household word? Think FedEx, Kleenex, Coke and you've got it.

From the likes of this article, Google doesn't like the eponym impact on their name.
Ubiquity has carried the downside of diluting the brand, but wouldn't you want everyone to know your name?

The question becomes if one can Google on another site away from G. It feels miserly when I think about it.
Why not Google anywhere, like making a Xerox or blowing your nose into a Kleenex?

Go for the eponym—when the name becomes synonymous with the product. Memorable for sure. The consumer won't have trouble asking for it the next time either. This is a magnetic way to assure repeat business. Try it.

Tools:
1. Gather five images (no words) about your work.
2. Describe the images with three words each.
3. Relate the images, words and your intention from your work.

If they work together, it can be powerful. Good luck.

The Obama Dog Saga—Welcome Bo

At first glance, the puppy story seems superficial. I ask, "What’s important beneath the surface?" Why so much attention that made the rounds of the Sunday political shows.

On the surface, I suggest the following ideas:

• Human interest story
• Comic relief
• Distraction from daily negativity.
  

Also, my perspective leads me to this:

• The story is more about integrity and keeping promises.
• This speaks to the type of parents the Obama’s are by postponing gratification by example.
• Cesar Millan’s "calm-energy" principle and how it applies to how Obama is likely to succeed with his temperament as successful owner. Milan stated Obama will be a role model. I suggest that we can all benefit from the tamping down of the drama accelerated by fear this past decade.
  

Proverb’s Wisdom—Still true, “All good things come to those who wait.”

Lastly, I marvel at the lingering significance of the Old Testament's Book of Proverbs' wisdom. (Treat yourself to a quote on the website.) As technology leads us from the “cave,” we can draw sober wisdom from this ancient source. I’m sure all religious traditions have similar wisdom from which to draw. I welcome input on them and will post them on my blog as they are received.

Welcome, Bo. You didn't know you were so important to the American Public.
—MC